They tried to explain it to me.  "Your father was working on a very special project.  There was an accident, they lost air and pressure, and he died."

I was six.

Six year olds are not stupid.  I don't feel like I'm smarter than I was at six--I just have a lot more context now.  Back then, I figured out right away that dying was something he did on purpose.  All right, maybe he hadn't meant to die:  but he had made a choice between us and Tranquility.  Maybe he told himself nothing would go wrong, maybe he told himself he would be back home by Christmas.  But that was a lie. He had abandoned us to go terribly far away and get himself killed.

Mephista says I probably blamed myself for him leaving.  Like, if I had been cuter he would have decided to stay.  I just remember being mad.

I don't find moonlight romantic, and I don't care much for tranquility.

L